It’s time to take back your story and your timeline

Sharing our stories is powerful, there’s no doubt about that. Our stories hold the potential to heal, create connections, and help us process our experiences. Here's the thing: the how and when of sharing is often overlooked. The pressure of external expectations, along with the mental gymnastics we experience, can create dis-ease, leaving us feeling more vulnerable, and at times, even alone.

The Unexpected Pressure of Vulnerability

It was a lesson my intuition was nagging me to share, and it was also a reminder that our stories are ours to tell, and they unfold in our timing, not the timing or way the world tells us to share.

The response I received was unexpected, yet it also highlighted something I’ve noticed all too often: there’s a very real, unspoken expectation around vulnerability, especially online. The likes, comments, and engagement from sharing personal stories, especially painful ones, can almost feel like a reward system. Vulnerability, at times, becomes something we feel we need to perform.

For a long time, I struggled with trusting myself and my story. I often questioned when to share and even what my story was.  

Should I share? 

When is the "right" time? 

What even is my story?

Many times I’ve been met with criticism for either not sharing sooner or sharing too much too soon. It felt impossible to get it right until I realised that the only right thing is to remember that my story is mine and I alone decide when and how to share it.

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned over the years is the art of letting go of control, well the illusion of it.

It’s tempting to think we can control how others respond by choosing just the right words or waiting for just the right moment. The truth is, we can’t.

This attempt to control others’ responses often comes from a place of fear, fear of judgment, abandonment, or hurt. And when we try to protect ourselves or others by controlling their reactions, we unknowingly strip them of their own experience.

Ironically, this control disconnects us from our truth, our own story.

The reality is simple: our stories belong to us. The reactions and interpretations of others belong to them. Once we accept this truth, we release the need for control and instead open ourselves up to a deeper sense of safety, empowerment, and integrity.

A shift for me came through my Human Design experiment when I discovered that I’m motivated by hope, and that being motivated by guilt is not in alignment with my true self.

I realised how much I used to share out of a sense of obligation, and guilt that I needed to explain myself, to prove something, to meet others’ expectations.

Now, I ask myself:
Am I sharing this because it feels right, or because I feel like I should?

That simple question has become my anchor, keeping me grounded in my integrity. When I share from a place of right timing (my timing) and hope, hoping that my story can serve or help someone, it feels aligned. It feels true.

There’s more than one way…

Sharing your story doesn’t always need to be verbal. Creative outlets are some of the most impactful ways to express ourselves.

Think about it, Art exists for a reason. How often have you resonated with a song, a poem, or even a meme? These are all forms of storytelling.

So, what are other ways you can share your story other than ‘just talking about it’?

Let’s brainstorm…

• Writing: Journaling, poetry, storytelling. All intimate expressions of your experience.

• Visual Arts: Painting, photography, pottery, art therapy. All hold the quiet power of capturing a moment.

• Music: Songs, playing instruments, creating music that embodies an experience you struggle to put into words.

• Movement: Dance, yoga, movement therapy. Our bodies can often express what words can’t.

Often these creative acts are the first step toward the integration of our story, these methods can act as a bridge to sharing your story verbally or in a more detailed written form.

No matter what form of creativity you tap into to share, they often serve as the first step toward integrating our story and can often support you in sharing it verbally when and if the time comes.

Let’s talk about navigating pushback…

Inevitably, sharing your story will sometimes be met with pushback. Others might not understand your timeline or how you choose to share. And here’s the thing, their response is not your responsibility.

I was met with pushback when in conversation about my sexuality. Someone I care a lot about told me that I should "keep it to myself for a while longer."

I saw it came from a place of fear, so I chose to stand in my truth. I told them that if someone, anyone no matter their title can’t respect all of me, then they didn’t get any part of me. Was it easy? No. Was it necessary? Absolutely.

If you’re navigating pushback, here are some simple responses to protect your peace:

• “I’m not ready to talk about that yet.”

• “That’s not something I’m sharing right now.”

• “I will share when I’m ready.”

• “I’m not in a space to share that right now. I appreciate you respecting that.”

These responses are clear, and concise while honouring your boundaries. You don’t need to over-explain yourself, it gets to be simple. As I always say: No is a complete sentence.

Remember…

Your story is yours.
You get to share it, or not, on your terms.
Share it when it feels aligned, in integrity, and deeply true to yourself.
Trust the timeline of your own journey and remember: your truth is valid and worthy of respect.

With Love,